Dating websites have made it relatively easy to meet cougars today. For older women, dating has very little to do with experimentation and exploration. The more you can get things flowing smoothly without having to deal with daily dramas, the better.
The problem is that older women are often faced with the challenge of holding romantic relationships together for long enough, sometimes longer than they would have wanted. Even worse, the actual cause of a breakup can remain a mystery and actually become a recurring problem.
As it happens, it might be that you having been going about things in the wrong way.
6 ways older women drive men away
Any of the following things or a combination of them will not only push a man away but also discourage him to ever considering giving you the benefit of doubt:
It is okay to ask the man a few questions about work, how his day was, and such. However, you will have to be very careful where to draw the line. He must not for any reason feel as if his privacy is being invaded. Don’t keep enquiring about his whereabouts, what his plans for the evening are, and such. Not even a mature man can stomach that.
A dragged bitter past
The last thing a new man in your life wants to listen to is a tale of how people have wronged you in the past. If a relationship with a mature man is to work, ensure to never bring up topics of a past relationship in which you were hurt badly. Well, even if you are to mention something about it, it shouldn’t feel like your life depended on it.
Love found so fast
You definitely don’t want the man to see you as a confused teen who barely knows how relationships work. Even if you are convinced he is the Mr. Right for you, give it some time before declaring your love for him. Ensure that by the time that comes up, he too actually feels the same.
Being another man
It is likely that you have had to compete with men for job position and such. In fact, it may be that you really are good at intimidating men. That will be something you will have to change if a man is to stick around in a relationship. He wants to see the woman in you. It will not hurt to do some house chores like making dinner yourself sometimes.
Attached at the hip
In any case, you had a life before the two of you met. This is something that still needs to be there even after the relationship. The man should not feel like he had just signed up for the most efficient spy services in the world.
Making him feel out of place
If the man cannot actually feel like a man in the relationship, he definitely will take his leave. With age, men become more sensitive to the fact that they might just be losing some of the traits that are considered masculine. This includes the fact that he may not be able to sexually perform as intensely as a younger version of him would.
How to improve a relationship with an older man
One of the best approaches you can use to improve a relationship with an older man is by relying more on physical bonding rather than words.
In later ages, men will barely be moved by sweet and romantic words. Telling them how you can’t sleep at night thinking of them will not even sound right to you. Rather, begin with sporty activities that involve some competition.
It is hard to find a man who is not into sports. Note that it doesn’t necessarily have to be physical sports like football or golf. In fact, it can be a computer game or a cooking challenge. This is usually the best approach to bonding with an older man.
Next, prove to him that you can make your own mature decisions. One of the main reasons as to why older women are likable is because they are independent and mature. Remember that he is not only looking for any woman. He probably is looking for someone who can support and in fact improve his decision-making skills.
Another very important factor to remember is that no matter the age factor, men are always attracted to beautiful women. In older women, beauty is defined in terms of emotional maturity, physical attractiveness, and topics that find their way into a conversation.
When is the right time to say the ‘L’ word?
So, when is it right to tell a man that you are into him? Well, it depends on how things have been going between you two. Remember that the situation will involve two mature adults who neither have room for lies nor find much excitement for the whole love thing.
To an older man, declared love needs to assure him that he still will retain most of his old life. It also means that he will not be forced to sacrifice the freedom he enjoyed earlier before dating you.
Before declaring your love for the man, ensure that he has shown some signs of sharing the same feelings. Chances are that he won’t say it in words but rather tell it with his actions. Be on the lookout for things like more invites to dinners, calls, compliments especially when it involves noticing changes in your hairstyle, clothes and such.
How long should you wait
Life is too short to be stuck with a guy, who you are not sure, is serious about you or not. It is very important that you know when to take your leave from a relationship that will probably lead to a dead end.
One of the signs that a man will never consider you serious is keeping you completely off and out of his life. Although we have said that maintaining privacy is important, the man needs to at least let you know some things such as his professionalism, past relationships, and most importantly his future plans. If you can see a place for you in his plans for the future, you need not be told that he doesn’t see you in that future.
The best approach is to ask him straight. A couple of dates are quite enough for any mature man to have worked out if he intends to keep you around or not.
It can also be that you don’t feel like he is the one for you. Again, a couple of dates are enough. Although it is very important to not make any rushed decisions, hanging onto a relationship you are not into will prove a waste of quality time in the end. In any case, you can always give it another shot anytime. Dating platforms such as Asian cougar dating sites are consistently beating the odds in pairing up partners nowadays.