Nothing is more frustrating than to have a relationship come to an abrupt end when you least expect it. It is even worse when the man disappears without warning. Young lovers can move close to justifying their blindness to such situations. For older women, experience should be used as an extra eye for the early signs of a looming breakup.
One of the desirable traits in older women is the fact that they are ready to see the reality of a situation. Rather than forcing a relationship that won’t work, older women can find the audacity to call things off when necessary.
Early indications that a cougar relationship is bound to fail
Let’s go through the early indications that will be telling you to try something different:
Constant elephants in the room
Do you always feel tensed when alone with the younger man? Are your conversations always fated to an immature end? Have you ever had a moment to discuss the goals and expectations for both partners? If not, the future of your relationship is clouded with doubts.
Best earliest sex
First dates are mostly about knowing each other. They are about becoming part of the other partner’s world. Sex should come later after both can write a page or two about the other partner. If sex is to come any earlier than that, it is highly unlikely that the man will stick around for long.
Bonding should come naturally based on passions and activities the two of you are engaging in. If it comes to the point when you have to force him to like the type of music you do or the other way round, the time is coming when neither of you will be willing to bend any further.
Loads of involved baggage
Younger men are more comfortable dating single older women. Complications such as ongoing divorce plans, big kids, and such do their best to discourage the man. Naturally, males don’t do well in territories they haven’t built themselves.
The relationship being one-way
All partners in any relationship must be on board for it to work. Should it come a time that he proposes or shows signs of ending things with you, most of your attempts to keep him around will be a waste of your efforts.
Keeping it casual
Even if you are having the time of your life, the way ahead must be determined. Men will rarely commit to anything serious as long as they are having their way at present. If he always tries to keep things as they currently are, chances are he is avoiding attachments that may keep him around. His big plans are exploring other chances in life.
Very few signs of future plans
How do you tell that you are not involved in someone’s future plans? One way is by not hearing the plans at all or awkwardness when the topic is brought up. This is an indication that once a better offer is laid on the table, the man will not consider twice before taking it.
When to end things in a cougar relationship
The good thing about a cougar relationship is that both partners are expected to be mature and actually prove it. Mature people will understand when things cannot be forced further. Any of the following situations can call for a termination to the relationship:
- When the terms of the relationship allow. It is not rare to find couples come up with conditions and terms to oversee the relationship. These terms and conditions could be that it should end after 6 months, 1 year and such.
- If the goals are achieved as desired. There are different reasons as to why a cougar relationship can be established. When the time comes that all different goals have been achieved as desired, it might be the best time to call it quits.
- Benefits are minimal or none. No one wants to be in a relationship they are not reaping any benefits from. In any case, you are spending your time and perhaps money on this relationship. If for any reason you feel like the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, the reasons to keep the relationship are decreasing in number.
- When paths never meet. One of the reasons as to why relationships survive is the ability to make independent decisions that both partners can find logic in. Although profile details can be of striking similarity, it is not a guarantee that you will get along with each other.
How to cope up with a breakup
Although it takes time, older women can get very emotionally attached sometimes. This is because they are emotionally mature and would rather stick to one good partner rather than explore 20 different partners. For this reason, coping with a breakup may not be as easy as it is presumed to be. Below are tips that can help:
- Accept the reality – denial can be very devastating. In fact, it can keep you from ever considering a relationship ever again. Cry it out if necessary. In fact, you can consider some professional help.
- Give it time to heal – allow some time for your hurt feelings to heal. A vacation or frequent nights out can, for example, help.
- Don’t keep it indoors – shutting yourself in the house will cook all sorts of bad ideas inside your head. Although it might appear hard at first, the outside world is a healer on its own.
- Have someone to talk to – emotions never disappear unless they are poured out in conversations. With time, accumulated painful feelings may pose all sorts of health and physical risks. You can talk it out to a friend. In fact, it need not begin with you discussing the breakup.
Dating again after breakup
One of the best consolations you can get after a breakup is finding an even better match than you had before. Other than being kind of romantic, it feels like a victory after a hard-fought battle.
By the time you have struggled with a relationship to a point of breaking up, a lot of experience should have been gained. Ask yourself about the things you might have done wrong. Recall the details from the time of your first meeting to the time of breaking up. Those details will help you give it a better shot next time.
Once you are ready to find yourself a better match, try some of the older women dating sites that are online. This time around, remember to factor in the possible reasons as to why the past relationship did not work.
It may also help finding more information about dating topics such as: what men look for in women, reasons men break-up with women and such. There are many online articles and documents that can help.