Nothing’s more frustrating than a relationship coming abruptly ending when least expected. Whilst young lovers often rely on naivety and blindness to such situations, older women dating younger men rely on life experience to identify the signs of a looming breakup on the horizon.
A desirable trait of mature ladies is they’re happy to accept reality rather than ignoring it. Instead of forcing a relationship that inherently won’t last, older women usually find audacity and courage to end things.
But this process remains a challenge, with ominous signs slipping under the radar.
Early Indications Your Cougar Relationship is Failing
Elephants in the room
If feeling tense and awkward, like a conversation subject should be raised but never is, there’s an openness issue. If having doubts yet unable to address them, your relationship is clouded with distrust and tension.
Many cougar relationships are centered around sexual activity, and this isn’t wrong. But if your cub is constantly excusing himself from sex and doesn’t initiate, this signals he’s losing interest or exhausting his sexual energies elsewhere.
If you spend time together because you feel physically obliged and rarely enjoy it, this is a terrible sign. You should be naturally drawn to him and love indulging your passions, hobbies and interests. But if becoming contrived and fake, your relationship’s run its course.
If the only one bothering to instigate plans and put effort into the relationship, problems are apparent. A relationship is the union of two halves, and each must pull their weight to flourish. If he rarely shows attentiveness or care and you feel pressured, any efforts on keeping him around is a total waste.
It’s commonplace for cougar relationships to be instinctively casual, but you can’t keep a companionship casual forever. You must discuss seeing yourselves progressing into deeper territory, and if it’s a resounding no there’s zero point continuing. You may have fun, but you’re blocking better connections for the sake of a commitment phobic.
No future plans
If he refuses to make concrete upcoming endeavors, this suggests he doesn’t see you his future. If feeling awkward to raise the topic, it’s time to accept you deserve someone who plans exciting ideas.
How to Cope With The Break Up
If your cougar relationship’s inherently casual, emotional attachment can still occur. Getting over any break up is difficult, but as an older woman where time is precious it can be incredibly challenging. An emotionally mature lady preferring to invest time into one good partner rather than explore 25 men may struggle, but there’s plenty of techniques to help.
Many people become unfairly irked for needing to heal. Breaking up with a partner often causes wounds too laborious to mend and there’s no shame in admitting that. Going out with your girlfriends or taking a solo vacation are great methods of distraction and finding space.
Accept the reality
Denial is toxic post breakup, as it blocks the path of moving forward. If dismissing the fact your companionship has ended, it can be hugely detrimental to your entire life. You may even feel incapable of getting into another relationship again! Crying releases tension, or seek professional counseling or therapy if necessary.
Don’t stay indoors
Whilst tempting to hole yourself away with blocks of chocolate, endless bags of chips and a cozy duvet, it’s not a healthy coping mechanism. Getting outdoors and living normally will add stability to your life, and you’ll soon feel your regular self.
Talk to someone
Whether friends or family members, unloading your feelings is crucial to maintain your sanity. Keeping emotions bottled up can accumulate to a whole load of pain and anguish, so discussing your breakup and having shoulders to cry on is essential.
Dating Once Again
After ending your relationship, the mere thought of dating again is can seem ludicrous. But as time progresses you’ll warm to the idea, feeling victorious and ready to date. Your breakup enhanced your overall experience, and taught you what NOT to seek in a new partner. Recall any potential mistakes, and ensure not to make them again.
Once ready to find a perfect match, online dating sites are a great resource. With plenty specifically designed for older women, their non-intimidating nature and simple navigation will make locating a date simpler than you thought possible!